The Morning After

Similar to Carrie’s weekly dining outings with Samantha, Miranda and Charlotte, my friends and I love to frequent our favorite bookstore on Sunday afternoons. Here we read, write, and discuss music, travel, life and spirituality. Thankfully, this opportunity allows us to adjust our settings after another whirlwind week and prepare for the next. This week we reflected on incidents that took place during homecoming this year.

Annually, extreme wealth floods the city of Greensboro during homecoming. Festivities attract thousands of game day spectators, patrons, and people simply looking for a good time. Traditionally, homecoming is a time intended for alumni to reunite and celebrate in one location.

However, this week long merriment also signifies other expectations, pleasures and vices for the current collegiate. Sleepless nights, drunken stupor and parties give many students the opportunity to “unwind.”Homecoming is a no holds barred conquest. There is an unspoken agreement that every male participant is admitted one get-out-of-jail-free card good for an entire week. During this time, many men, single and committed, are consumed with the idea of winning. Be it the successful club promoter, a victorious sporting event, or sleeping with different women every night, men are obsessed with conquering.

The conclusion drawn is that many men are just as insecure as some women. However, the way in which they react to their fears, especially rejection, is recognizably different than some of their female counterparts. Some use the player guise as a means of seeking the approval of their peers.

It’s easier to hit it and quit it, than to allow oneself to be completely vulnerable. A man has really done his thing when he bags the baddest chick on campus or an alumna whom slipped through his grips years ago. But, is it really just about the money, power, and women? After an entire week of complete fornication, groups of men often sit down to discuss their “spoils of war.” Laughter fills the room as each man proudly exclaims the thrill of his triumphs. Apparently, what happens during homecoming is suspended forever in time, or is it?

It’s quite interesting how men respond post sex. Entranced in Youtube videos of basketball highlights, high definition television and talk of conquering dozens of women makes it quite clear that some men show little remorse for their past actions and philandering.

So, what are the consequences of promiscuity for both parties? Andre 3000 depicted the fictitious, yet surprisingly realistic, scene perfectly in the interlude Where are my panties?

Typically, gender roles of our society express that virtuous women are to be upheld. Women are encouraged to refrain from actions that might question the extent of their goodness.

Random, intoxicated hook ups leave some women feeling used and guilty for their indulgence. The act may even replay in her mind for quite some time following her indiscretion. Unfortunately, those moments of bliss are tarnished along with her name.

It’s ill fated that this recurring situation transpires even outside of the confinements of college. Some people may physically grow up but their minds are shelved at adolescence. Men and women must take responsibility for their actions.

First and foremost, we all must be accountable for our wellbeing and personal health. Second, own your actions. Do not falter from your personal intuition.

Remember that there is a consequence for every action, therefore, be prepared for the aftermath.

  • Candace L. Hackney