In the 90s sitcom “Sex and the City,” Carrie Bradshaw bumps into Mr. Big not knowing Mr. Big will be the man she marries ten years later.

The expectations and anticipation Carrie holds for Mr. Big and other men throughout the series, are the same expectations we hold for guys today.

While having girl talk with a few of my friends, I wanted to know if I was the only one who thought, “Is he the one?” After meeting a guy with potential to be something more than a friend, my friends admitted to secretly having a case of the what if’s. Carrie Bradshaw’s notion of “the one” is the guy of her dreams. Our current “one” is a potential boyfriend.  Why is it that we consider every guy we date or talk to be our “Mr. Big?”

We form expectations based on cliché love stories we grew up with.

“The one” to me is a guy who will bring me chocolate around that time of the month, watch “The Notebook,” and then cuddle with me while watching Sunday night football. So you can imagine my aggravation and disappointment when I receive no chocolate, and instead of watching the movie, he prefers to watch the game with the boys. Of course he sounds like a grade A jerk, but honestly, I am the one who played myself. He gave me his number not wedding vows.

Some women fail to live in the moment. We think ahead instead of thinking about what is going on right now. Before a boy even tells us his name, let alone gives his number, we are thinking of the future. What is going to happen after the third date? How will our parents and friends like him? While we consider all of these questions, all he can think of is how long it will take to get us in bed. Maybe that is part of the problem. We are dating boys who would rather spend their Friday nights losing money in a 2K tournament.

One of my closest friends from back home said she likes the potential of a guy more than she actually likes him. It sounds harsh, but these are the facts. After dealing with someone for so long, there are moments you see how sweet he can be. So, we hope for change and disregard the negatives, even though the negatives may outweigh the positive. We see the type of person he can be, and we feel that when he grows up, it will be worth it. Time waits for no one. One must ask themselves if what they hope to be worth it in the long run is more valuable than their self worth right now. When a person shows you who they are, believe them.

Quite frankly, if you are attracted to a man it does not mean you like him. Women get so wrapped up in the would’ve, could’ve, and should’ve that we forget what is in our faces. If he wanted more, he would have done more.  Until then, stop developing more ideas to disappoint yourself.

No one wants to hear this, but we have to take it day by day. Let a guy prove his worth before you start writing your wedding vows. If I do not expect chocolate, I will not be upset when it does not come. The less you expect from people, the less people can disappoint you.

When Carrie bumped into Mr. Big on the sidewalk, she was just leaving a guys house who she had a constant battle with because of her emotions and expectations. She had no idea that Mr. Big, the man who knocked her down, would be the one to pick her up after all. We cannot force anyone to like us. We can only be ourselves and have faith and confidence that the right guy will do the right things to sweep us off our feet.

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• Meagan Jordan, Opinions Editor