“The bible doesn’t mention anything about no boyfriends and girlfriends. It instructs us how to be a good husband and wife,” said one of my good friends during a group discussion on dating.
We were all taken aback by this comment because it was not only harsh but a very true reality. I am pretty sure I can speak for everyone in the room when I say we all took a moment to reflect on current and or past relationships.
It is common in more females than males, but our generation questions ethics of young relationships, especially ones involving college students.
As stated in a previous column, I too came to school under the impression that this was the place I would meet the love of my life.
It is still possible that college is the place where I may find the love of my life, but it may not be right now.
One issue that I constantly hear from older generations is that young people have no patience. We do not allow things to manifest naturally.
We try to manipulate ourselves, others and our relationships into how we feel they need to be, which is why we either cannot get into a relationship or maintain one.
To be honest, our twenties is the time to experience numerous relationships. It is easy to speak of how our parents and grandparents found love. Today, we have more opportunities, and the technology is far more advanced in comparison to what they had.
Women are becoming the head of households. It was not common for women to expand on their career.
Granted, my great grandparents were married at the age of 14, but had there been other opportunities, there probably would have been other people in the equation.
Young women, including myself, trip over things that will not matter years from now. Although we find ourselves in relationships where we are expected to maintain loyalty and practice monogamy, in my opinion, it does more harm then good.
The most loyal married men were once dogs in their day. A prime example of this is my father. I am not saying to find guys who are not about anything, but this could be a reason as to why women are attracted to “dogs.” We know that once a man is tired of running around, he will focus and give his undivided attention to us.
Where we mess up is trying to manipulate the time frame.
Although cheating is not condoned, it is imperative that the devious ways of our youth are fulfilled prior to marriage. After all, marriage is sacred, and vows are taken before God.
I encourage everyone to not focus on the pressures of having a significant other right now. Unlike my friend who sees no point in dating, I think it is a healthy practice.
There is a difference between dating and being exclusive. In the article “29 Things Twentysomethings Need to Stop Worrying About,” Anna Breslaw, Cosmopolitan magazines online sex and relationships editor writes, “Dating a bunch of guys is fun, once you get the taste for it, because if one of them’s awesome at sex, and another one is awesome at fixing things, and another has a car in a city where nobody has a car, all together it’s like you are dating a Frankendude whom you would marry tomorrow. But you’re not, so relax.”
Dating multiple people can be fun because each person may be special and contribute to something different.
However, I do not think one should sleep with every person they date. The constant worry of having someone to settle with right now is pointless. We as a youth change and grow everyday.
Let’s stop forcing the matter of relationships and reinforce one of the purposes of our youth. As young adults in college, I am sure we have other things to do than plan who we are going to be with forever. Agreed?
—Email Meagan at [email protected] and follow her on Twitter @itsme_agannn
- Meagan Jordan, Opinions Editor