Aren’t best friends the greatest? I mean who else will spend 6 plus hours with you in a mall, or go round for round with you on the basketball court, or even take that super long trip across town to pick you up when you’re stranded, for the second time. Their listening skills never fade no matter how often you complain about the same never changing issue, and there is probably no one else in the world who you can laugh with until your eyes start watering and you breaths become short.

That bond, that love, that connecting spirit definitely brings you a one-of-a-kind “brother from another mother”. So what happens when graduation comes or summer break ends and you come here and they go there, and there is nothing but miles and miles of highways in between?

Sure, at first the phone calls are daily and the updates are detailed because the issues you were helping each other though are still very much prevalent. Plans are made to visit during homecoming, and when something hot goes down on campus that’s the first person you call to brag to, but then your lives begin to take off. Someone joins a new organization or schoolwork becomes even more challenging and time-consuming, and just as often as the phone calls came, they stopped.

Sadly no one notices at first, but don’t get worried because it wasn’t on purpose. It is human nature to initially concern yourself with only what’s smacking you directly in the face, so if there isn’t a best friend with a huge neon-colored sign saying “YOUR IGNORING ME”, it might take a minute before the light bulb goes off. But when that realization finally does surface, it can be hard to deal with.

So many questions, so little answers: Man, I miss my bestie? Whose fault is it? What did I do or what didn’t I do? Can we really fix it, and my personal favorite, if it’s meant to be it will be? I am 100 percent guilty of always being the friend who reaches out and is completely understanding at all times, but it is often very tiresome. Your mind begins to play tricks on you and you really want to put yourself first, but this is your best friend for a reason and they just are not someone you are able to let go of easily.

The reality of that fact is people do grow apart and things do change. That girl or boy you sat next to in kindergarten sharing crayons with may not be the exact same person they are today. However, that may not necessarily be a bad thing.

Take me and my best friends for example. We all met in elementary school, for the most part it’s just three of us, only two of us attended the same high school, and none of us are attending the same university. When we were younger it was difficult for my friend and I who attended the same high school to plan outings and events for the three of us to hang out together because we could not all get on one accord. That never stopped our efforts though and sooner or later we got it right and the three of us had a great time growing together.

However, I can honestly say our relationships have changed and college is playing a big role. At times if feels as though we are working so hard to make sure everything is together once graduation comes, we forget this part of our lives requires just as much time, energy and dedication as it did in the past.

There is only so many times you can apologize for a week going by without so much as a returned phone call or text message, especially when your Facebook page gets updated regularly. For some, giving up is the route of choice because it is far less strenuous, but if this person is the only one you trusted with all your secrets and who you decided would be your child’s future god-parent, then that may really be someone to keep around. All it takes is a simple conversation explaining how you feel and listening to how they feel.

Several times for my friends and I, it was just clearing up our miscommunication and eliminating the naysayers, those who did not understand our friendship in the first place. Most importantly, some type of agreement needs to be established where each person involved will work to make equally genuine efforts to just do better and live up to the title Best.

As time goes on, continue to assess. If conversations are not progressing and you notice they consist of too many “remember when” stories, it may be time to move on. So smile because it happened and understand none of it was a waste. In the end you both are better in some way or another due to the experiences you have shared together.

Friendship really is the window to life!

• LaRia Land