Is it worth it? Domestic violence relationships

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In 2009, R&B singer Chris Brown plead guilty to assault on his ex-girlfriend, pop singer, Rihanna. Brown was sentenced to five years of probation and 180 days in jail or the equivalent.  

“Scandal” star Columbus short was fired from “Scandal” after he was allegedly charged with misdemeanor spousal battery. Short’s estranged wife, Tanee Short, filed for a temporary restraining order against him after he allegedly threated to kill her and himself due to accusations of her cheating. 

Carolina Panthers defensive end Greg Hardy was sentenced to 18 months probation after he was convicted of domestic violence. 

San Francisco 49ers defensive end Ray McDonald was arrested after a domestic violence case involving his pregnant fiancée.

Ravens running back, Raymell Rice, was banned from the NFL after a video was released of Rice punching his then fiancée in an elevator. 

Statistics show that one in every four women will experience domestic violence in her lifetime, according to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence. An estimated 1.3 million women are victims of physical assault by an intimate partner each year. 85% of domestic violence victims are women. Historically, women have been most often victimized by someone they knew. Most cases of domestic violence are never reported to the police. 

Is it worth it? Is it worth remaining in an abusive relationship, whether it is verbal abuse or physical abuse? Money, emotional attachment, sex, children, and fear are just some of the factors that may contribute to why women choose to remain in abusive relationships. 

Twitter and Instagram trends “#WhyIstayed” and “#WhyIleft” are inspirational campaigns via social media where women tell their heartbreaking, yet powerful stories of domestic abuse. There are many important factors that contribute to the reason why women choose to remain in abusive relationships. 

 “I wanted to talk to someone about him, but was scared he’d find out,” said blogger Alex Gabriel, author of “Godlessness in Theory.” “Even two miles away I felt he was watching me,” she said. “Godlessness in Theory” is a blog about religion, popular rhetoric and political dissent, nerd and LGBT cultures, sexuality, and gender.

Fear is a factor.

“Humiliated and manipulated,” one user tweeted. “Thought I could change abuser and not feel like a victim.”

Humiliation is a factor. 

“Kept telling myself if he didn’t hit me, it wasn’t abuse,” another user tweeted.

Denial is one of the many factors.

“My girls needed a father,” another user tweeted. 

Children are a factor.

“I couldn’t afford the life that we established by myself,” said Kate Ranta of Coral Springs, Fla. “I was drowning.” Ranta’s story is part of “Why Didn’t You Just Leave?” a Huffington Post series on domestic violence in which six women share their reasons for staying in abusive relationships.

Money is a factor.

“He warned me that if I told anyone or left him, he would hunt me down,” said Nicole Beverly of Ypsilanti, Mich. Beverly’s story is also a part of the Huffington Posts’ series on domestic violence.  “It worked. I didn’t tell a single person for five months. I knew if I did leave, he was capable of following through with the threats he was making. I was paralyzed with fear.

Fear is a factor.

Emotional attachment, love, sex, shame, guilt, isolation, and fear are some other factors that contribute to the reason why women choose to remain in an abusive relationship. Domestic abuse is wrong and unjustifiable. 

If you are in an abusive relationship, tell someone and get help or call the National Domestic Hotline at 1-800-799-7233. 

-Email Mija at [email protected] and follow us on twitter @theatregister

  • Mija Gary Register Reporter