The Student News Site of North Carolina A&T State University

The A&T Register

The Student News Site of North Carolina A&T State University

The A&T Register

The Student News Site of North Carolina A&T State University

The A&T Register

    Ask a Black Girl

    Why is it so hard for “strong black women” to be submissive?

    Girl #1- I think it’s because most of the time black women haven’t had the luxury of being able to be submissive. Unfortunately, black men haven’t been playing their role and black women have had to be the mother, father, primary provider, etc. As a result, black women raise their daughters to be “strong black women” because statistics show that we’re going to have to play our role and more.

    Girl #2- Because it is not in our DNA, point blank period.

    Girl #3- What kind of stupid question is that? Why would a strong woman want to submit? What man truly wants a weak-minded woman who is going to do nothing but what he wants when he wants? I think the question shouldn’t be why black women won’t submit, but instead why black men feel that we should submit to them in the first place.

    Girl #4- Submitting to a man means you trust his judgment and his ability to lead you and your family. If a “strong black woman” isn’t willing to “submit” it is because she recognizes that the man in her life isn’t ready to lead. I have no problem with my future husband being the head of my household, but only if he is ready to do so in a manner that isn’t about control, but rather about what is best for the both of us.

    How would you react if you found out your man was on the down low?

    Girl #1- I’d be upset, mostly at myself for not being able to tell. Obviously, I’d break up with him. Then I’d be glad I practice safe sex, because times like this is when it comes in handy. But I’d still go get an STD test.  

    Girl #2- I would turn into Angela Bassett off Waiting to Exhale in a heartbeat! Burn clothes; destroy cars all while I am cussing him out. No, but on a serious note, I would be extremely hurt. In a relationship, trust is all you have, and without it you have nothing. My faith has taught me to forgive, however in this situation I know I would have to dig deep in my spirituality to find forgiveness.

    Girl #3- I’d be pissed because there really is no excuse for a man to be on the down low while in a relationship with a woman. It’s selfish and inconsiderate. And, of course, I’d break up with him. Oh, and if he gave me HIV or AIDS I’d definitely press charges for attempted involuntary manslaughter.

    Girl #4- Wow…tough question. Honesty I do not think homosexuality is something you can hide. There are things people do or say that “gives it away.” So with that said, I don’t think I would ever be in that position because I would see it coming. I don’t want to blame the woman who is the “victim” of this in her relationship, but she was most likely lying to herself because she was either embarrassed or blinded by love.

    When you first start talking to a man, what signs are you looking for?

    Girl #1- I’m looking for someone who I can see being my friend as well as my boyfriend. I believe in being friends first. I’m looking for someone who can stimulate my mind, not just my body. Someone who can make me laugh. Someone who’s ambitious, sweet, respectful, and having a nice smile doesn’t hurt.

    Girl #2- Chemistry. I’m a girl who loves meaningful conversation, and if a man cannot hold a conversation longer than 5 minutes I lose interest. When courting a guy, I simply look for someone I feel comfortable with and make me smile.

    Girl #3- He has to be funny. That’s the most important thing to me. He also had to be kind and smart.

    Girl #4- Someone who is giving, sweet, and can hold up his end of the conversation, that is probably the bare minimum. I like guys who are different from me so when we talk or hang out we aren’t boring each other. I think I play into that whole “opposites attract” cliché, to a certain extent.