Five more minutes – isn’t that all you ever need? When its time to wake up in the morning all you need is five more minutes of sleep. When your on your lunch break and you have to go back to work, just five more minutes. You ever wasted a day saying you’re going to get up in five more minutes. What the hell is so alluring about five minutes.

Can you really get that much done in five minutes?

When your boss asks you where your work is you say hol’up gimme five minutes. Or your teacher says, “Where is your homework,” the response is “damn I left it in the car, let me get it, be back in five minutes.”

My editor just asked me when I was going to start this commentary and I told him five minutes. That was 20 minutes ago.

Shifting gears for a second, it seems that heifers do not listen.

Just last week I wrote a commentary about what girls are wearing to class and I just have to take five minutes to talk on it. It seems people do not listen very well. You, and you know who you are, are not wearing proper attire to school.

What ever happened to a nice top and some caprices or a sundress?

While breast are a beautiful creation of nature they are not receptors of learning and should not be put on display inside a classroom. I understand that it is hot outside but there must be something appropriate in your closet for school. Girls can go to calculus class half naked but can’t do a linear equation.

The guys on this campus make a reasonable transition from jeans and long sleeve tee’s to jean shorts and short sleeve tees. Why can’t girls make the same reasonable change. Take five minutes and pick out something you would wear for a church summer picnic not the beach.

I used to stand up for the girls, women’s suffrage and all that, they can do anything a man can, they can dress how they please; screw that. A spade will be called a spade. If you walk out the house looking like the hoe on summit by Mickey D’s and the gas station and a guy calls you a hoe, suck it up and keep walking.

Some of the girls on campus are asking to be called everything but a lady or student so let’s do them a favor and fulfill their request until they ask for something different. Dress is a form of expression it is a way to separate yourself from certain groups and include yourself in certain clusters.

Many of the girls on campus have, with the warm weather, excluded themselves from the demographic known as students to the category of hooker. Now that I have taken five minutes to address these scantily-clad women I down shift to my original train of thought.

The request for five minutes is a scourge on this land. Think about how many times you took an extra five minutes. Imagine how much you could have accomplished in five minutes. I bet if females added five extra minutes to the hour it takes them to get dressed they could find clothes that would cover their body for school. There are a lot of guys out there whose daydreams are five minutes shorter because some girls leave nothing to the imagination.

• Brett Harrington