#LessonsInThe336: Walking Etiquette 101

The four years I lived in Greensboro, I have seen an abundance of foolishness, however one habit truly irks my soul— college students do not know how to walk on sidewalks.

Perhaps, my disdain for chaotic walking stems from my upbringing in a suburban area where people grasp the bylaws of the paved concrete path, but no I will longer remain silent. The revolution has now been publicized!

I refuse to be driven into the black chain link fence behind the ROTC building because my fellow colleagues travel in herds. I protest shuffling around Kumbaya circles outside of Williams Dining Hall, and I shouldn’t have to break through loitering bodies that congregate in front of the brick steps.

I barely made it through the first week of classes without be- ing ran off of the sidewalk into a person, street, or fence. I began to contemplate stepping on the heels of the slow-walking pack of students before me. This isn’t Noah’s ark, there is no reason to travel two by two or any greater party on the sidewalk!

The modern convenience of a sidewalk is not at all com- plicated to operate. In fact, the root word—side—and suffix—walk–dictates its purpose:

Sidewalk: (noun) An avenue designed for travelers’ walk on the side for quick and smooth commutes.

Students, please pay close attention to the direction that sidewalk users are supposed to travel—on the side, NOT the center!

While some people argue that, “you should walk how you drive,” I completely oppose that belief. I’ve seen how many of you students drive on campus, so don’t bring that chaos to the concrete.

To help combat the chaos, I’ve developed a quick guide to surviving the concrete streets.

“Walk This Way” — (Walking Etiquette 101):

1. Treat sidewalks like two- way streets instead of one-lane bypasses. You aren’t the only person that has somewhere to be.

2. Quit traveling in packs and forcing a standoff to determine who will pass first. Stay to the right side of the concrete.

3. If you walk at a grandma pace, then you’re a minivan. Don’t even bother walking on the sidewalk, just stay on the grass.

4. If you pull your pants up from your knees, perhaps you may walk faster. There’s even something called a belt, if you’re up for it.

5. The phrase is “excuse me” if you accidentally bump into someone when it’s crowded, not “excuse you.”

6. If you text and walk, you need to look up every 5-7 sec- onds to ensure you don’t walk into a trashcan or a person.

7. Bikes and skateboards be- long on the street, not the con- crete. The sidewalk isn’t the X Games, and walkers aren’t moving checkpoint targets.

Therefore, if you pass me on campus and I seem to be glaring you down, please know that there isn’t anything on your face and I don’t want your number. You have more than likely violated the universal code of walking and have made me late for class.

I just want to be great, and make it to my destination before the sun goes down. Is that too much to ask?

Ashleigh Wilson – Social Media Specialist

– Email Ashleigh at [email protected] and follow her on Twitter @ A1News_