The next time you walk past a group of women on the street, take time to listen. More likely than not you will stumble upon a conversation of complaining. Turn you ear a little closer and you should be able to hear at least one of them divulging the details about the men they choose to let into their lives.

Women (and men), you know you have seen this scene before: “the one” with the most to tell is walking and talking, spewing information at the rate of a mile a minute. Saying, “He did this, he said that, what do I do, I am so confused,” all the while with a faithful few others around her leaning forward, ears perked, and chiming in with comments.

This can seem like harmless talk, but the problem occurs tomorrow, when this conversation will repeat itself once again.

It is as if talking about these optional woes have become a permanent part of some womens’ schedules, but choice is the key here.

Women choosing to spend their time with associates only discussing men have attacked the purpose of true friendships, true sisterhood; calling their “friends” the ones who indulge their tales the most and listen to their crap the longest.

We all have those we talk to, trying to get it right and figure out what man fits where or if they fit at all into our lives, but we should not become so preoccupied that the talk becomes permanent, defining ourselves by how much boy drama is revealed to friends every day. A grown woman does not need to detail every inch of her endeavors with the opposite sex, as if to say, “Look at me! I have this much [_________________] importance because I have this many stories.”

Is your daily life so empty that you have to fill it with senseless conversations, seeking advice for the same one issue and finding no solution?

If you care to stop wasting your time, understand that the solution to the man problem is you.

Grow up. Begin to handle your own minor issues in private and share when you truly need your friend to listen and lend her knowledge. I compare you to the girls who cried wolf.

What will you do, who will you run to when you have some serious problems that need a true friend’s words?

The ones around you have only been trained to respond to insignificance. Spare the mature women the horrible obligation of listening when you are saying nothing and not seeking real confidence, rather just looking to be heard.

You need to feed each other real knowledge about how to grow spiritually and get through feeling lonely, instead of announcing how many men you have on call for times when you are alone; Lest you create a cycle of only leaning on your friend only when you are sad or happy about your “man problems.”

At this point women (and men) like myself are only still listening to the lull of your silly in-and-out relations to be cordial, clinging desperately to the fact that it would be wrong to blatantly tell you about your immature ways.

My intent is in the right place, but pretty soon I will begin ignoring you. My advice is for you to get real, close your mouths, open your minds, and grow up; lest my ears become deaf to your rambling.   

• Alessandra brown