The following is a Q&A column that will answer the many question that are presented to black men. The questions, as well as the answers, are completely anonymous. However, the questions are directed towards black men on this campus. Therefore we assure you that the answers are exclusively from black men on this campus.
Why do men lie to girls they are not in a relationship with?
GUY #1- Why not? In this game of men and women, we have got to stay two steps ahead. And the reality of it all is that women do not believe the truth anyway. Why waste our time telling you the truth if you are not going to believe what I say when I tell you? The stuff black men do is so stupid sometimes that there is no logical explanation to why we do what we do. So why would we tell you the truth and dig a deeper hole for ourselves? Black men completely understand the concept of “telling the truth is easier.” However if we lie, that increases the chances of us getting away with what ever we did. We did not say that makes it right, we’re just saying that is why we lie.
GUY #2- Because women can’t handle the truth! If you told a girl that is not your girlfriend that you are involved with five other girls, then they will be mad that they are number six instead of number one. Opposed to accepting that I’m testing my options as a single male, they look at the fact that they are not the only one I’m talking to. So why even tell them? We live in a ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ world.
GUY #3- Because guys never want to cut and burn bridges. We like to keep our options. That’s basically it.
Does growing up with or without a father figure make a difference on how you treat women?
GUY #1- I think my father played a huge role in my life. I would honestly say that most of the things that I do now I can say I got from my father. However, I can also say that I have seen my mother and father argue, physically fight, and demonstrate true hatred towards one another. With that being said, this does not mean that I am automatically picking up his bad habits. I love my father and everything he has taught me, but growing up with my dad in my life showed me that no woman should have to go through the heartache my mother went through. So my father may have showed me how his marriage fell apart, but I used his mistakes to guide me to eventually becoming a better husband.
GUY #2- No. I think men learn how to treat a woman from their mother. Our fathers teach us how to not be emotional. Theoretically you want to see your mom’s characteristics in your significant other. So that means your mom influences us more than our fathers.
GUY #3- Yes! You learn how to treat a woman from the closest man to you. So if you see your dad treat your mom wrong, or don’t see your dad at all, that will affect how you view women in terms of walking in and out of their lives.
Why can’t black women find a good black boyfriend?
GUY#1- Perhaps it’s because you ask stupid questions like this. I know plenty of strong black women who are completely content with being single. However, too many of you are so concerned with finding a man that you lose focus on finding yourself. How can you say what a good man is if you don’t even know enough about yourself? Maybe the reason you cannot find a good man is because you aren’t a good enough woman. Find yourself first, and then that man will fall into place.
GUY #2- Because black women are crazy! Most of them do not even know what they want. Women are raised to find a man. But you all are not willing to face trial and error. In addition to that, many of you are afraid to face judgment from other women. But more importantly, black men are not looking for a girlfriend! Our stock went up when Obama was elected and studies show that black women are not the most desirable to marry right now, so why would we want to settle down?
GUY #3- Ask yourself “Where are you looking?” “What are you looking for?” and “Did you ever consider that you might be the problem?” After you answer those questions, then I’m sure you will know why you can’t find a man.