(ARA) – Your little girl is starting to grow up. She’s got her elementary school friends, interests and hobbies, and her calendar probably has more activities on it than yours. Yes, watching your tween develop can tug at your heartstrings a little bit, but it also means she’s ready – or will soon be ready – for some of those heart-to-heart, mom-daughter talks.
Having some of those harder, grown-up conversations can be difficult, for the both of you. Topics like peer pressure, self esteem, body development and even getting her period can be uncomfortable and stressful. But if these conversations don’t happen, lack of knowledge or an accumulation of incorrect information provided by her friends or the Internet could make certain situations even worse.
For example, girls are developing at an earlier age now – girls as young as 8 are getting their first period. Research shows that one in three girls have no idea what is going on when they experience their first period and four out of five moms feel only somewhat or not at all prepared to talk to their daughter about her changing body.
“Despite the fact that there is more education out there for girls and women than ever before, girls are reporting that they are caught unprepared for puberty and suffering from embarrassment,” says Dr. Lissa Rankin, a physician, author, life coach and founder of www.owningpink.com. “How you model this time in her life will lay the groundwork for how she feels about being a woman in the future.”
Rankin and feminine care products maker Kotex offer moms a variety of tips and tools for how to talk openly and proactively with their tween daughters – about everything from privacy and friends, to self-esteem, body changes and other sensitive topics. They recommend:
* Start early in life. Proactively talking to your tween daughter is especially important given the earlier onset of puberty, and other physical and mental developmental milestones. If you start talking to your daughter at an early age, you’ll help lay the foundation for a lifetime of open and inspiring conversations.
* Choose a day. By committing to a day to talk with your daughter, and then preparing for that day, it can help alleviate a lot of the pressure and apprehension around the discussion. It doesn’t matter what approach you decide to take – baking cookies or just a walk around the block – making the time to talk with your daughter will help ensure that she’s well-prepared for what lies ahead.
* Keep the tone light. If you approach conversations with your daughter in an overly serious manner, she might tune you and your important messages out. Instead, laugh, share stories of your own childhood, and use positive, empowering language to help diffuse the embarrassment she may feel about the topics you’re discussing.
* The first period talk. Many young girls have no idea what’s happening when they get their first period, so it’s up to you to help guide them through this important “first.” Take her on a tour of the feminine hygiene aisle and answer any questions she may have. Let her buy a variety of products to test and determine what she likes best. Especially since she’s a younger female, have her try U by Kotex Tween, pads and liners designed specifically for tween girls between the ages of 8 and 12.
* Keep it confidential. Promise your daughter that whatever she tells you – about her period, her changing body or boyfriend – that it will remain strictly confidential, just between the two of you. This means you won’t be calling your sister, texting your best friend or sharing the information with your coworkers over the coffee machine. Honor the agreements you make with your daughter so she learns that she can trust you with personal information. This will make it more likely that she’ll open up to you about other important issues as she continues to grow older, instead of going to her less well-informed best friend.
Yes, it can sometimes be difficult to watch your little girl grow up. But, proactively sitting her down and having these tough talks in a loving, supportive manner is a great way for you to gently guide her into adulthood as an empowered woman who is proud of who she is growing up to be. To find additional tips on how to have stress-free conversations with your tween daughter, visit www.kotex.com/tween.