Ask a Black Guy

Hang on for a minute...we're trying to find some more stories you might like.

Email This Story

What do black men think black women misunderstand about black men the most?

Guy #1 I think the misunderstanding between black men and black women is the same misunderstanding between all men and all women. Since the beginning of time men and women have had the same issues. So ultimately, I feel that the biggest misunderstanding we have can never been identified because we have so many. We are already a diverse group of people, so the misunderstanding and difficulties are so vast it is nearly impossible to point out just one.

Guy #2 I don’t think black women understand that regardless of how you look at relationships there will always be drama involved. Regardless if you have been married for 20 years or just dating for 20 minutes, you will always face drama in your relationship. If you’re waiting for a neat and steady relationship then you will be waiting for  a very long time and never get married. Women always think men are playing games, but no one ever said you couldn’t play games and tell the truth at the same time. Women just have to realize this stuff and be willing to work through bad times.

Guy #3 A lot of times guys are misunderstood for our actions. Simple things we do could be counted as ignoring or neglecting women when in reality that’s not the case at all. For example, chilling with our homeboys could be seen as not wanting to be with our girl. That’s usually not the case at all.

What would be a good gift to give a black man for Valentine’s Day?

Guy #1 The best gift a girl could give me for Valentine’s Day is to treat me for a change. I understand Valentine’s Day is traditionally a day for females, but why can’t we change it up this year? 364 days out of the year it’s my job to pay, drive here and there, come up with dating ideas, the perfect birthday and Christmas gift, etc. Well why not change it up for your man this year ladies and take him out and cater to him? There’s nothing wrong with trading places on the holiday. It’s supposed to be about love right? Well instead of expecting to be wined and dined, show your man just how much you love or care about him and I’m sure he will appreciate the gesture.

Guy #2 Probably a nice tie and some cologne I guess. It all depends on the amount of money you have and plan on spending. At the end of the day a token is a token. That’s the most important part.

Guy #3 Well in an attempt to keep it PG, I’m the type of guy who just wants to chill with his girl. We can go on a date, watch a movie, etc. Basically the day is more for her anyway. So what ever she wants to do I should just be ready and down for it. No need to complain, just be ready to come on out the pocket.

Do you think guys take break ups worse than women? Why or why not?

Guy #1 Yes because men are very territorial people. Many men feel like once someone is mine, they are always mine. Regardless of who is to blame for the break up, we still feel that there’s nothing we do that can’t be forgiven. So when you think about the things that come with break ups (meeting other people, dating other people, basically moving on to someone else) it makes us sick to think about it because we know all the stuff we said and did to each other before. So for many guys, it is hard to believe that we can go through all of this and you still move on to someone else like nothing happened.

Guy #2 Yes. Well, it depends on the level of their consciousness. If you are the type of person who views life as some kind of engagement and something always has to go wrong, then you see break ups as a part of life. However, if you are a man who cannot understand things that happen in life then of course you will take break ups worse than the typical woman.

Guy #3 We can at times. Sometimes we just don’t let it show. We’re supposed to be men and tough. We cannot go to our boys about heartbreaks and break ups. So a lot of it can be equal, but because we’re guys we have to put up a front. But ultimately, if it hurts it hurts. However, you won’t see us crying and running on facebook about it.