During the voyage through college, there are things taught from a text book headed by a man or woman at the front of the room.

Meanwhile, there are some lessons that can only be learned first-hand through experience. We are not just students of the classroom at a college or university.

We must remember that we are also students learning the lessons that life has to offer and will only gain knowledge through listening and paying attention to our surroundings and ourselves.

One lesson in particular deserving highlight is honesty. Everyone says they want to be around people that will be honest with them, let them know when they are in the wrong or if there is room for improvement.

We all want to be around someone who will let us know what is really on their mind…that is what being real is all about, right? You always hear the phrases, “two-faced” and “shady” or especially “fake” when people speak of those they encounter on a college campus, but how “real” are we really being with ourselves.

College seems to induce the feeling of being grown, but very few seem to know what it really encompasses.

Being “grown” is not just an application of age or freedom; it is also something that comes with taking responsibility for one’s own actions.

Going to the club or the latest party is the ideal weekend, but whose fault is it that the report that was assigned at the beginning of the semester has not been researched a week before school releases? How does this tie in to honesty?

To be perfectly honest, how can you expect others to be honest with you if you continue to lie to yourself?

Not the small white lies of, “Well, I used to play sports in high school” or the often heard, “Yea, I been with that person and this one.”

I’m more so referring to the lies that affect others and the lies that are hard to get out of once you, yourself, come to the realization that what you originally said was not at all what actually is.

Take for example, a relationship.

You could say all these great and wonderful things about your personality and goals and what you are looking for in someone, but the second you lie to yourself, you have already reached the point of lying to the other person.

While many might say how small and unimportant those lies are, someone else who has been lied to might say that the small, unimportance of that very same lie ended in more hurt than necessary.

Lying is not only harmful to the person you lie to, but can also cause damage to you as well.

Once the lie has been told you now have the responsibility of up-holding the standard of which you have placed yourself.

Lying about personality traits is one thing, but when you lie about something you may have said or done, you convince yourself as well.

How real are you REALLY being if you cannot be honest with yourself?Ok, so you did not pay $200 plus dollars for your jacket or you have never actually met Jay Z…who cares?

Nobody wants to get to know someone who barely knows him or herself. When asked, many would agree that honesty is one of the most attractive traits in someone, but they are not 100 percent honest about the type of person they are interested in or the type of relationship they are pursuing.

Don’t say you want a long-term relationship if you are only interested in sex.

Do not tell your friends you have been with a certain amount of people if that is not you. What good does it do to conform to what everyone expects of you instead of giving them something unexpected and being honest?

Too many times we find ourselves in situations that could have been avoided had we been honest with ourselves from the start.

Outside the affect on an individual, there is also the factor on one’s future. College is meant to be a learning experience.

Learning about a career field, people and more importantly us as individuals. Professors are always saying you should have a five-year plan. Know where you want to be in the future and various means of getting there.

This is impossible if dishonesty disrupts the flow of forward movement. If you know you are a lazy person, do not plan to be a millionaire one day.

If you know for a fact you suck at math, do not spend a whole lot of time with accounting. Be true to who you TRULY are and make your own path.

Be a leader and not a follower. Conforming does not make you unique or prove you are any better or different than those around you. Duh!

You get jobs by standing out. Duh! You get money by getting a job. Duh!

You can actually afford to pay $200 for the jacket you lied about. Change starts from within…so do not complain about it be about it.

• Staie Bailey