Back in the day parents used to send their daughters to college not just to get an education but to find a husband.

Back in the day parents used to send their daughters to college not just to get an education but to find a husband. More so to find a husband, but we like to think that they wanted their daughters to receive an education too.

Well it’s 2013 and it’s nowhere near what it used to be in the 1940s, 50s, or the 60s. Women have now become more independent and more focused on their education rather than finding love. Although love may still be ideal for some, finding love in college is definitely not the same as it was many years ago.

People nowadays do not have relationships anymore. Men and women often find themselves either settling or having casual relationships. Casual relationships meaning “talking” or friends with benefits, doing everything but… It’s unfortunate; however, it is true.

Most young men do not know how to approach women and a lot young women often find themselves getting involved with these men that are not ready to give them what they are looking for or need. Thus creating confusion, pain, and heartache because they accepted the circumstances believing they had the ability to change what could not be changed from the beginning.

Women want security, trust, friendship and loyalty. Most men want sex. Of course there are men out there who eventually want a relationship and there are a good number of men who do want something with substance. But let’s be real, some women do not want those men and when they encounter them they push them away or are not interested.

For the men who do want more than sex cannot seem to find the right woman to give their hearts to. College life, especially N.C. A&T college life, makes it hard for men to stay focused on one female. There are so many options from different backgrounds and locations. What makes it worse is the women they are infatuated with or interested in already receive so much attention from the other guys that it is harder to get those females to notice them.

This day in age love doesn’t seem to be on the agenda in college anymore. It is all about who can get with who and what he or she did and how. Party life, Greek Life, sports, other organizations and of course obtaining that degree is really what it boils down to.

What most people fail to see is that it is not that there aren’t good men or women out there but they somehow have lost sight of what it is to look for, what is desired, what is needed and what will last. A lot of college students are really busy, have a lot going on and really aren’t ready for anything with longevity.

So while casual relationships may appear to be ideal it really can create a lot of problems. Yes of course going with the flow of things is always the best but only if there is an agenda behind it. Ladies let’s not give up the cookies until you know that you are ready and willing to deal with the consequences afterward if you are not looking for anything serious. And fellas, come on now, be real with what you want. If you know that you do not want anything serious do not lead the ladies on and just be honest with them.

Sad to say but looking for love in college isn’t what it used to be. It seems that the older you get the better off you are looking for and settling down with someone you can spend the rest of your life with. As much as most would love to find their mate in college, unfortunately it is harder to do so. At the end of the day people need to wrap it up and just be honest with what they want and maybe, just maybe love can happen.

• Yani Long, Contributor