Take it from Miss A&T: He’s just not that into you

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Smooth R&B filled the room as dozens of women filed into Stallings Ballroom Sept. 30 to be a part of the “He’s Not That Into You” program and gain insight on what men actually think about the relationship between men and women.

This program was put together by Miss North Carolina A&T, Ngozi Opara, in hopes of creating a dialogue between the female students on campus and some of the men they deal with on a constant basis.

“I’m hoping to tell things of myself that they might not witness in males in general, and invoke things in other males to get them to contribute, and hopefully answer every question that  they [women] have,” said senior mechanical engineering major Victor Davidson before the start of the program.

The theme was derived from the popular movie, “He’s Not That Into You.”  The movie is a survival guide for women who are looking to interpret men’s signals.

“This is to help us as women to better understand the men we associate ourselves with on a daily basis,” Opara said. “A lot of times with me being who I am on campus, a lot of women come to me for advice, and I am always willing to give it, but I’m just another woman. And to me, who better to help you understand than another man.”

The panelists that were chosen by Opara were those whom she felt were well-known faces on campus, and who have been here long enough to give the best advice.

The panelists included Davidson, senior criminal justice major Marcus Gladdin, senior marketing major Jonathan Rivers, senior finance major George Hines, senior elementary education major Austin James, junior psychology major Adrian Fonville, senior architectural engineering major Bryan Melvin, senior electrical engineering major Timothy Campbell-Allen, and Memorial Student Union coordinator Xavier Covert. 

“Stop undressing me with your eyes, we all know your mentor is Plies, but the only thing “Bust it Baby” will be your neck,” was the line that created an energy among the audience as Opara opened the program with a spoken word.

She then proceeded to begin the dialogue between the nine panelists and the audience by asking a set of questions created by her and a group of women which then was followed by an open session in which members of the audience had a chance to ask their own questions.

The questions asked ranged from those dealing with intimacy issues between men and women to the types of women these men tend to avoid. All of the panelists agreed that desperate women are the ones they steer clear of.

“A desperate woman will settle for anyone,” said Gladdin.  “If a man wants a desperate female, then that’s what he is going to go for, and it’s easier, especially here.”

Many audience members got charged up by the comment, and many of the other panelists jumped on the microphone to reconcile and help women further understand Gladdin’s statement.

“Desperate coincides with low self-esteem, and any female with low self-esteem in my book is not of quality,” Rivers said. He said that a girl with low-self esteem is more prone to show reckless behavior.

“Say you meet a guy in club, which is not an ideal setting, and if he calls you right after the club and invites you over, he is not inviting you over to play Madden,” Rivers said.

Most of the panelists agreed that women have to be smart when dealing with today’s men. Showing signs of being naïve will cue a man to take advantage.

“I’m sure you all have experienced the worst of game from the smartest of brothers. These cats are clever and they’re in college. They ain’t dummies,” said Davidson.

They also went on to highly stress that men are simple in the sense that they need clear communication when dealing with relations between them and women. They said open communication is important in having a healthy relationship.

“Guys are not mind readers,” James said. “Guys do not know if you are into them, guys do not know if you like them, guys do not know if you want them unless you say so. A lot of times girls get their feelings hurt because they like a guy, but they never said anything to them.”

Although the flier said the program was limited to only a female audience, men other than the panelists still managed to gain access.

“I had no problem with them [the men] being here, but I just wanted you women to know that it was just about you,” said Opara.

As a token of gratitude, Opara gave away Steve Harvey’s book, “Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man,” to two audience members who knew the answers to some of A&T’s history at the close of the program.

  • Kelcie McCrae