By: KeAsiah McLaughlin, Contributor

We have all been there: someone’s second choice. Someone’s trophy girlfriend or boyfriend. Thrown to the side and made to feel as if we are not good enough. Sometimes we know what’s going on and simply refuse to accept it while other times we may have no idea.

Here are some common signs to let you know if you are a side hoe. Every situation is different, but these general tips can you determine whether you’re being played for a fool.

1. If he or she only praises you for your physical attributes, you may be a side hoe. This is most likely because that person is praising someone else. When someone sees you as special, he or she compliments you on more than what you look like. They will admire you just as you are, which may include other aspects of your personality and how you carry yourself.

2. If he or she only hits you up at night, then you may be a side hoe. A person who values you they will want to talk to you anytime of the day or even all throughout the day. If someone only contacts you after dark, then it is likely because he or she is too busy with their real spouse throughout the day and is looking for a “quick fix” after hours.

3. If you have never met his or her family members or friends, you may be a side hoe. When someone finds value in you, he or she wants the world to know about it. That person is eager for you to meet the people who have raised him or her and wants his or her loved ones to see how happy you make him or her. This may also include posting you on his or her social media accounts.

4. If he or she does not hang out with you in public, you are a side hoe. Again, someone who appreciates you in his or her life wants to flaunt you to the world. That person does not keep you a secret or hidden in the closet.

5. The way he or she approaches you shows if you will be a side hoe in their life. It displays what that person sees in you and the role you could possibly have in their life. For example, some guys approach girls by saying “Aye shawty, can I get your number?” Guys such as these do not have plans for you and will most likely have their fun and make their exit. However, a guy who truly intends to have you in his life will approach you with respect, charm, and humility.

If you noticing all the signs, and it’s not a situation you desire to be in, then it’s never too late to remove yourself. Do not give someone else the satisfaction of wasting your time. Know your worth and decide what you want and need for yourself.